Beloved 101-147

This section of the book has some of the most beautiful writing I've ever read. I have never felt more emotionally attached to the characters of a novel than I do to the characters of Beloved, especially in these pages. Toni Morrison was born to write this book, and no one else could have done it as well as she did. She accurately depicts the physical horrors of slavery while simultaneously showing us the mental impacts that it has on everyone involved. The chapter that tells Paul D's story of prison in Georgia made me feel like I live in a different world. I cannot imagine surviving the conditions that he did, much less escaping and travelling North, surviving off of the land for months. His mental toughness and resiliency is simply unimaginable. When I first read about Paul D's "tobacco tin heart", I didn't understand why he couldn't let himself tell Sethe about all that he has gone through. Now I think I'm beginning to understand. Morrison depicts the trauma that Paul D has experienced in such a deep and accurate way, that I see now why it would be more difficult to open the tin than to let it stay rusted shut in his chest. All of Paul D's past life experiences come together to form who he is today, and who he will be for the rest of his life. He has been taught by life that you can't rely on anyone to always be there, and that you can't give but a small piece of yourself to another unless you want to lose everything you have when you eventually part ways. In Paul D's life, he has been the one left behind, as well as the one to leave. He has suffered so much at the hands of his previous masters that he has lost his ability to permanently love. During this reading, Morrison reveals that Paul D, whether he knows it or not, seems to be on his way out. It's not that he doesn't love Sethe, because he said that he grows to love her a little more each day. It's that he has been beaten down by life, and that his humanity was taken long ago. Something changed within him, when he had the iron bit in his mouth, or when he was up to his thighs in muddy rainwater in the trenches, that cannot be reversed. I don't have the words to describe it, but based on what we have learned about him and what he started doing in this reading, it's safe to say that Paul D will never be able to lose himself in love ever again.

Now let's talk about Denver. Until this reading, I knew that she was starved of human interaction before Beloved came along, but I didn't quite know the full extent of how much she needs attention. I don't mean to be critical, because I'm sure that I would feel the exact same way if I hadn't spoken to anyone other than my mother for more than a decade. But the part about Denver longing for Beloved to simply look at her shocked me. I have never heard of a person being that deprived of human contact, yet this description made perfect sense to me. Denver has never had anyone to give her attention, as Morrison described Sethe's general disposition towards Denver as lukewarm at best. When Beloved leaves Denver in the cold house by herself, I was almost relieved to see her go, but Denver lost her mind for a minute. At first I was inclined to believe that Beloved leaving would be best for Denver and the rest of the family, but then Denver started going on about how she has no sense of self without Beloved. She says, "This is worse than when Paul D came to 124 and she cried helplessly into the stove. This is worse. Then it was for herself. Now she is crying because she has no self. Death is a skipped meal compared to this" (Morrison 146). Denver has become completely reliant on Beloved, and lets Beloved dictate how she feels about herself. I am worried for the rest of the book, because I personally cannot imagine the book continuing on the way it is going and ending happily, with no change. I predict that something will happen with Beloved, and that Denver will be left alone again.